Shower or Play?

Seems like a simple question.  But it’s not, at least not for me these days. I had the chance to shower yesterday afternoon (Harmon was sleeping)…I was a mess…I NEEDED a shower…like you would not want to be near me unless you were either a) my immediate family & have apparently become immune to my smell or b) you have no sense of smell. But then Coralee asked if I would go outside with her & June to help them build a snowman before the rain washed all the snow away.  She reminded me I could bring Harmon out in the baby carrier. At first I said yes, but then I realized it was drizzling (yes, RAIN in January in Iowa) and even though that didn’t really bother me, I told her it was raining & I didn’t really want to go outside with Harmon in such conditions. But, really, I just wanted a shower. A shower. I feel both guilt and no guilt. Coralee is 13.5…how much longer will she ask me to “play” with her? Her childhood is absolutely fleeting at this point. But I’m a mom of four kids and I really really REALLY wanted needed a shower.  You have no idea the power of a shower to a mom, especially a mother of young kids, unless you have in fact been the mother of young kids or are currently living this life.  I swear I become a better person in the shower nowadays.  I resolve to do everything better while I’m washing my hair.  I tell myself I will play more with my kids (how ironic), I will speak more calmly to my husband, I will communicate with all my friends better (most of them are far away)…I will just BE A BETTER ME.  Then I get out and it all goes to pot.  But I swear I do try.  Anyway…
This was my view when I stepped out of the shower.  Yup, I showered.  And I didn’t go outside…
  Until later, as darkness was falling & the rain was pelting, to quickly snap some photos of the very cool snowman all three of my older kids made.  Without me.  Like I said, I feel both guilt and no guilt.  It is what it is, I suppose.
  He really is a cool snowman.  June informed me–“I named him June, but he’s a boy.”  The kids are really proud of their first snowman of the season.  I resolved to be a better mom while I took my shower.

That’s life, right?

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4 thoughts on “Shower or Play?

  1. Oh wow Ruby, I can relate! You just don’t have time – AND you don’t want to leave your baby unattended! I hope you get to shower a little more regularly one of these days – but I really do understand. The snowman the kids built was stupendous! I printed off a copy of it and it’s on my refrigerator – reminding me of what winter weather is supposed to be like – ha! Love you all – Harmon looks great!
    Mom/Nana

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    • You, too, Linds. You are such a busy working mama! I really don’t know how you do it–obviously I couldn’t make it work or I’d still be there, lol. I definitely agree with you about motherhood being a delicate balance…when I feel like the house is going to fall down around me if I don’t clean the floor or wash the dishes or fold one of 50,000 loads of laundry right.this.minute, I sometimes think of my grandmother who was a terrible housekeeper, BUT, now that she’s gone, what does it matter? I try to remind myself of that…no one will care that my floors weren’t squeaky clean when I’m gone. πŸ™‚ xx

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